Sleepless nights. Much to do. Less than two weeks.

I examined my cross off calendar a couple days ago, and instead of willy-nilly crossing off past days or weeks, I beheld two single weeks left before I take off for Peace Corps.

The phrase, "What the?!" probably best captures my current sentiments.

In any way, shape or form, I do not regret this choice nor hesitate going into this commitment I've made however it doesn't exclude the fact that I really will miss my family. It isn't so much the "unknown" that scares me. The "unknown" is life, the sooner you figure that out, the more life will make sense. It isn't so much the packing, if anything, packing keeps my mind on something "to do", something that is being productive.
What concerns me most and what causes me a little emotional grief is my leaving behind a wonderful life. Through these past months, living at home with family, carrying out everyday in my little life, I realized that I am probably one of the luckiest people in the world. It seems that a major goal for most of my peers is to not just to find a successful full time job, but rather, to get out of the home, "I can't live with my parents, I would go mad". It may be a rightful claim for some to make, but I am not like them. I truly enjoy my immediate family, my parents, eight siblings, my grandma and at last our puppy, Bruce :)
Its when you start to fret, do you have to take a step back to look at that "bigger picture". We all have our distinctive calling in life, one as unique and imperative as the next. I take solace in the fact that I'm not leaving behind a wonderful life, but bringing all those things that have caused me happiness with me to Panama. I think of all the people who haven't experienced a happy life and it resets my focus. Perhaps, while I am learning much about life from the Panamanians I will come into contact with, I can share this kindness and support that has been undeservedly showered on me to those who need it most.